Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I checked into jail on foursquare
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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