the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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