I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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