All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
