i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
