He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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