I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
