we have pet lesbian snakes
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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