No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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