idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
