yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
