is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize