thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
