I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
