we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
sarcasm needs its own font
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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