I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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