I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Boobs are out for the taking
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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