Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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