I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
