Four minutes until I can fart!
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
jump out the window naked night went bad
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
