I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
