Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
