You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
