The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
