Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
