Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
