no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
