Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize