its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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