Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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