You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
