my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
