So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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