This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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