so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
