the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
