So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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