I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
