Jerry, you need to find god
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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