Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
