obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
