We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
