You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
