Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
