I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
