One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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