I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
