I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
