He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I AM VODKA MAN
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
