just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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