Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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