we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
