On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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