Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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