is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
