rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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