I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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