what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
