I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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