I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
