I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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