i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize