I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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