That's intense
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
