Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Im part way to drunk.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize