South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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