NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
